Something old, something new, something gay

In July last year, Abhishek Ray and Chaitanya Sharma became the first gay couple to have a social wedding in Kolkata. But how did they do it?

- NIRAJ KAKADE

Picture a typical wedding. What do you see? Chaos, clamour, beauty. Roses and rajanigandha swaying against a gentle breeze, women pirouetting in colourful attire; uncles gossiping, aunties judging and Bollywood's most predictable shaadi songs blaring out of the speakers. This common imagery got an uncommon twist in July last year, when fashion designer and professor, Abhishek Ray, and digital marketer, Chaitanya Sharma decided to throw caution to the wind and tie the knot in a ceremony with all the trimmings of the Big Fat Indian Wedding.

"Honestly, I didn't want to do it in a big way. I just wanted a one-day affair, where we exchange rings, get a cake and throw a big party. But Chaitanya was the one who wanted to have a haldi, mehendi, sangeet and every other possible ceremony with all the singing and dancing. Like a big fat Indian wedding. Initially, I was apprehensive but then, I thought, why not? Let's do it," muses Ray, who met his partner via common friends on Facebook.

As the first gay couple to have a social wedding in the anachronistic city of Kolkata, Ray and Sharma did more than win hearts and the Internet. They set the record straight, and hopefully, paved the way for many other LGBTQIA+ couples, who in the absence of a legal system that recognises same-sex marriages could perhaps, find some respite, and even joy, in a symbolic wedding. That though, isn't enough. "Acceptance and security are the key elements. The only change that I would like to see is to stop trying to make it look like a different kind of marriage. It should be treated as normally as a guy getting married to a girl, right? Secondly, genderneutral language must be integrated at an early age. For example, a child who is in his teens is asked if he has a girlfriend and never if he has a partner. We need to inculcate this because until we educate our kids our society will not progress," opines Ray.